My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
