I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
