i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize