Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I need water and some morals
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
