i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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