i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize