Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
