All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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