I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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