i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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