As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
