don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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