we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I fill condoms, not promises.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
