I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
