Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
