Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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