420 ftw
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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