your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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