Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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