I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
