I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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