I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize