I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
