Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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