I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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