so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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