Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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