dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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