Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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