Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize