dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
