She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
