well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
