uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
