I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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