I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
