Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
