Whoa Z and x make the same sound
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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