i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
