Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize