his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize