I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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