He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
