..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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