If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
