Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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