no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
