my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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