I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
