this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am naked and annoyed.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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