he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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