...so i touched it.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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