"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
