Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
