a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize