ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
