none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
