My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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